At last, you found the one. One look and you already know he feels home. If you are getting married soon, you have plenty of things to prepare from your gown to the banquet and the venue. If you have extra budget, you can also start planning for that honeymoon. Getting married is composed of exciting stuffs.
You are too busy about things that you forget to make your vows until the big day. It is important that you carefully craft your marriage vow because it will serve as your pledge – the basis of your partnership or relationship. You can just go online and look for vows if you do not have enough time or if you are not that creative. But where is the fun in that?
Vows should be personalized. You have to add your touch so your man will know what is in your heart plus personalized vows (the one that you made from scratch) are emotional and romantic. Its rawness is commendable. So, what are you waiting for? Get a paper and start drafting your marriage vows pronto!
However you have to know that there are certain words you need to avoid as it can be unhealthy in your relationship. This is according to Aaron Cooper, a clinical psychologist at the Northwestern University’s The Family Institute. Here are some vows you have to avoid:
“You are my other half”
People who believe in soul mates and finding it will put “you are my other half” in their vows. There is something wrong with this concept. Maybe you haven’t realized it yet but when you take it word by word, it speaks of two souls being inadequate without the other. Ideally, you have to be adequate first before offering yourself to that person.
You can alternatively say “we meet in the middle and we contribute the same amount of love to this relationship”.
“What makes you happy will make me happy”
Maybe you haven’t heard about the concept of “co-dependency”. Co-dependency refers to one’s excessive psychological or emotional reliance on the partner. In other words, it is like abandoning all your wants or desires because what makes your partner happy will also make you happy. If this continues, it can be dangerous to the relationship because one person will become dominant and you will just follow his lead and convince yourself that you are happy.
Couples are different individuals and you should know that. You can alternatively say “I will continuously support what makes you happy”.
Singaporean couples should know these words so they do not use it as it can be ambiguous.